And now for the pre-flight safety instructions....

I am not normally a superstitious person. “Normally” being the operative word here.

We live in a world where reason either does or should prevail. Except of course, in politics where reason seems to be just about the only voice missing from the room. But that being said, I do have one superstition I’m going to cop to – I always pay attention during the pre-flight safety video or demonstration. I don’t mean I stop talking or put my book down, I mean I pay attention. I watch the video, I listen to the flight attendant, sometimes I even read the pamphlet.

Why, I am not exactly sure. It’s not like I think I’m going to actually prevent the plane from crashing if I’m a good little passenger and pay attention – like arriving safely is my treat for being well behaved and listening. And it’s not like I think I have much to do with whether or not the plane reaches its destination safely – I would say the mechanics and the pilots own this puppy, not a suburban lawyer traveling with two kids and a couple Nintendo DSs. But even though I know all this (along with all the statistics indicating that we’re more likely to die in a car accident on the way to airport than in actual plane), I’m still superstitious and I still make sure I watch every little thing. After countless flights, I know it by heart and yet still, I watch.

So, over the years, I’ve become a kind of connoisseur of the pre-flight safety message. Some airlines deliver it in a matter of fact tone, much like they’re telling you how to pot a plant, not save your life. Some are comedic about it, which is nice, if done well. But then there are some that come across like their trying to make you feel all warm and fuzzy about the fact that the plane has eight emergency exits (two in the front, two in the back, and four over the wings). You know the videos I’m talking about. They are the ones with the beautiful people, the soothing voices and professional editing. I wouldn’t doubt it for a second if someone told me they actually worked with a psychiatrist to determine the right tone of voice and volume to use in order to best soothe the nervous flyer.

It is this last version that I recently encountered on a flight from Southern California to the Northwest. While I like the fact that the flight attendants look friendly and competent (I’m sure their acting coaches would be proud), I’m not so sure about how the whole piece is scripted. They have flight attendants showing us how to do everything from the seatbelts to the exits to the vests. But when it comes to the mask - you know, the one that is supposed to drop down in the “unlikely event of a drop in cabin pressure” – they have people playing passengers who just look too perky. I mean, they’re smiling. Come on, who would be smiling at a time like that? I can understand not wanting the passenger actors to portray how they might really react since panic, screaming, chaos and uncontrollable sobbing isn’t really the message the airlines want to convey, but really, smiling?

It’s almost like they weren’t taking the whole this-could-save-your-life thing seriously.

Okay, that’s a little bit of an overstatement, I know they take these things seriously, but smiling?